Silence by Shusaku Endo

Silence
by Shusaku Endo
published in English 1969
pages 306
Source: Library copy (I want to own)
Read for the Social Justice Challenge

From Wikepedia
a 1966 novel of historical fiction by Japanese author Shusaku Endo. It is the story of a Jesuit missionary sent to seventeenth century Japan, who endured persecution in the time of Kakure Kirishitan ("Hidden Christians") that followed the defeat of the Shimabara Rebellion. The recipient of the 1966Tanizaki Prize, it has been called "Endo’s supreme achievement"^[1] and "one of the twentieth century’s finest novels".^[2] Written partly in the form of a letter by its central character, the theme of a silent God who accompanies a believer in adversity was greatly influenced by the Catholic Endo's experience of religious discrimination in Japan, racism in France and debilitating tuberculosis.^[3]

First Sentence:
Pax Christi. Praised be Christ.

Amazing to me that I did not stop reading this book when I found myself asking these several questions right at the beginning, "Why am I reading this?" "Why, when the book is dragging and holds hardly any interest except for the fact that I chose the book for a challenge that I continue reading?" and then I said to myself, "If it were not for the challenge then gladly I would set this book aside." All these questions and statement are amazing to me because as I continued to forge onward I found myself stupefied that I would have thought to put this book aside because I became completely engrossed in the story. The story began to fill my mind with emotions, questions, and connections. When did this change of thought happen for me? Chapter one. Yep…chapter one. The beginning is the Translator’s Preface and Author’s Introduction and while important they were unable to hold my interest. That is until I was finished reading Silence. At that point, I greedily read the Translator’s Preface and Author’s Introduction.

Silence is a story of love, misery, faithfulness, pain, questioning, doubting, courage, redemption, and despair while at the same time challenging. The challenging aspect comes in when I would pause in my reading, full of suspense and horror, and ask myself, "Deanna, what would you have done in their circumstance?" "Would I have been strong such as Father Rodrigues and the other Christian peasants or weak such as Kichijiro?" "Would I be able to withstand all that Father Rodriguez withstood?" "Would I play the role of Judas or would I have the strength and courage to march on as a strong soldier?" Silence tells a significant and potent story of those who want to remain faithful to God, Christ our Lord, while facing great peril. It is a story that brings home the fact that the freedom to believe and practice our faith is not a cushy easy path for many. Truly, Silence is a story that drives home to me that faith and love of our God is not always easy.

But Christ did not die for the good and beautiful. It is easy enough to die for the good and beautiful; the hard thing is to die for the miserable and corrupt-this is the realization that came home to me acutely at that time. p.71

Silence is a powerful story.
A story that makes it to my list of those books that I highly recommend. Silence makes it to my list of must reads.

The following are some passages that spoke volumes to me.

No, Kichijiro was trying to express something different, something even more sickening. The silence of God. Already twenty years have passed since the persecution broke out; the black soil of Japan has been filled with the lament of so many Christians; the red blood of priests has flowed profusely; the walls of the churches have fallen down; and in the face of this terrible and merciless sacrifice offered up to Him, God has remained silent. This was the problem that lay behind the plaintive question of Kichijiro. p.96-97

At their command, the guards gathered damp pieces of wood and, removing the bodies of Mokichi and Ichizo from the stakes, began to burn them. This they did to prevent the Christians from bringing home the remains for veneration. p.104

…he felt the face of Christ looking intently at him. The clear blue eyes were gentle with compassion; the features were tranquil; it was a face filled with trust. ‘Lord, you will not cast us away any longer,’ he whispered, his eyes fixed upon that face. And then the answer seemed to come to his ears: ‘I will not abandon you.’ p. 174

True love was to accept humanity when wasted like rags and tatters. p.189

Reflection:
I live a good life. I am not wealthy by any means nor am I poor. My family is healthy. For those in my family who do have life struggles, help is available, they are not cast off. We have freedom. We have the freedom to believe in Christ as our Lord without fear of persecution. We have freedom to not believe, if that is our choosing. Therefore, I am forever thankful that we are not personally put into the position of testing our strength or faith such as the Japanese peasants had to endure. Yet, I think, we as a people should stand guard. In this world of political correctness and extreme tolerance, I do feel that our freedoms can be gradually taken away. I do feel that we could be brought back to the point of persecution. Still, as of today, I am thankful that this is not the case yet I do remain aware and guarded against Big Brother. Dramatic I may sound but so be it. Silence has resurfaced these thoughts of mine as it is a thought provoking read. A read that challenged.

Let me leave you with my favorite passage.

Sin, he reflected, is not what it is usually thought to be; it is not to steal and tell lies. Sin is for one man to walk brutally over the life of another and to be quite oblivious of the wounds he has left behind. p. 144

Special Needs: Networking and Support

To learn more about IJ, you may read... part one, part two-a, part two-b,part two-c, part two-d, part three, an incredible moment

One thing that I have learned over the last several years is how important it is to network with other parents of special needs children. At the very least, you can share stories. What would be great though is not only the swapping of personal stories but the swapping of information, the how-to in navigating through the special needs world. For me, this networking has occurred with our school’s parent training programs. These programs provide parents information in regards to a variety of things: IEP navigation, Reading – what do those test scores mean?, How does your child learn?, etc. Through my school’s program, I have come in contact with a family that has been navigating this world a bit longer than us. The Mom shared several tidbits with me. We swapped emails and phone numbers. I do plan on contacting her about information regarding insurance appeals. Networking is helpful.

Beyond networking, support from family and friends is important. Support in the area of understanding, caring, truly wanting to know our child, knowing that we need a break and offering help have been huge factors for us, for me. I hope, if you are a parent of a special needs child, that you too have a support-system in your life.

This post is mostly a public shout-out of my sincere gratitude to several people in our lives. There is no way I could ever repay these people for all that they do for us. I could not pay them enough, I could not gift them enough to adequately express our gratitude.
So yes, the rest of this post is sappy with public shouts of thanks to those who are always there for us, our children and most especially for IJ.

My Parents.
My parents are always there for us….going to meetings, taking IJ off of our hands for a bit, offering to give Robert a break on the weekends, chauffeuring us or one of the children around, watching GD so I can take IJ to therapy, rushing over to our house to attend to the other children while we rush IJ to the ER, the list could go on and on and on…

Thanks Mom and Dad for all that you do for us!!! I sincerely am grateful for your love, understanding, caring and just plain being there. You are wonderful parents and AMAZING grandparents.
I love you.

My sister, Darcy…she is always willing to take on IJ. She is willing to referee issues that come about when IJ is around. She is understanding and does not ever point her finger at him. She cares, she loves, she is there. She gladly watches GD when I have meetings and appointments for IJ. She gives of her heart with overflowing generosity. I know that if her children were a bit older she would be there for him…for us even more. That knowledge alone is comforting. I know that if something were to happen to Robert and I that she will gladly take responsibility of IJ and the rest of our children. That is huge!

Darcy…I love you! Thanks for your love, understanding and support…it means a lot. I could not imagine my adulthood…my life without you. I could not imagine my children’s lives without you. You are incredibly special to me. I love you.

My Friend, Jody…Geesh…Jody goes above and beyond friendship duty. She listens to me hash out the same sorry song over and over again. She listens to my frustrations and tears. She listens to my joys and accomplishments. She listens. She also researches. The last several months I have been on shut-down mode. I was overloaded with all things IJ treatment related. She picked up my slack and has researched and brought things to my attention. Last night, she was up to the wee hours researching laws, definitions, communication stuff, etc so that we would be more prepared for our school meeting that we had this day, Thursday. Then…this evening, she was researching some more. At the meetings, Jody is my voice. If you have not attended a IEP type meeting you may not understand but these meeting do make me uncomfortable. My ability to speak intelligently, clearly and concise disappears. Jody steps in and voices our concerns, questions and desires. She does not back down. I am ever, ever so grateful for Jody. I honestly do not know where we would be without her desire to help us.

Jody… words cannot adequately express how grateful I am for you. Who would have thought twenty-years ago that you and I would be such good friends. That I would be blessed with your presence in our lives. You are an amazing friend. You talk about not being able to repay me back for helping you guys out 2+ years ago. I say, it is us that will not be able to ever repay you for all that you have done and do for us! Thank you for accepting and loving IJ. Thank you for understanding and listening. Thank you for researching and being vocal at meetings. Thank you for being in our lives. I love you.

Daggerspell by Katharine Kerr

Daggerspell
by Katharine Kerr
Copyright 1986
454 pages
Source: Library copy

Back Cover:
Even as a young girl, Jill was a favorite of the magical, mysterious Wildfolk, who appeared to her from their invisible realm. Little did she know her extraordinary friends represented but a glimpse of a forgotten past and a fateful future. Four hundred years-and many lifetimes-ago, one selfish young lord caused the death of two innocent lovers. Then and there he vowed never to rest until he'd rightened that wrong-and laid the foundation for the lives of Jill and all those whom she would hold dear: her father, the mercenary soldier Cullyn; the exiled berserker Rhodry Maelwaedd; and the ancient and powerful herbman Nevyn, all bound in a struggle against darkness. . . and a quest to fulfill the destinies determined centuries ago.

First Sentence:
In the hall of light, they reminded her of her destiny.

I am so glad that I read this story. It was a fantastic read. I found myself absorbed in the story right from the start and remained that way through out the whole read. The author’s writing flowed from page to page as we travelled with the characters through several adventures and life altering decisions.

The storyline had many of the fantasy elements that I love: an unknown world set in a time long ago, character(s) have special powers, a special weapon, good vs evil, adventure and action. Daggerspell also included a touch of romance as well as a new dimension for me with the reincarnation element.

I decided to read this book based on Alaine’s recommendation even though I was unsure how I would like a story that evolved around reincarnation. I approached Daggerspell knowing that it is a fantasy read which tells me that the world is not real. That alone gave me some leeway in my beliefs. Another thing, while important to the flow of the story, this element was not the focus of the characters, it felt part of the fantasy world. So, for me, the reincarnation element added depth to the story. It added intrigue.

Daggerspell was a fantastic, fun and an enjoyable story. For those who like fantasy, I encourage you to give this book a read. Even though Daggerspell is part of a 15 book series, I do think it could be read as a stand alone. Although, I am looking forward to reading the next book in the Deverry series, Darkspell.

I read Daggerspell as part of a read-along with Alaine of Queen of Happy Endings and Annie of Reading, Writing & Ranting. If you are able to have a read along with another person, either with Daggerspell or another book, do so. It is a fun way to read.

New Beginnings: Monthly Update - January

New Beginnings, a weekly event hosted by Mizb @ Should Be Reading. I have not posted on a weekly basis so I have decided to make this, for me, a monthly update.

My Resolutions:
The ones I had already reflected on and planned for the start of 2010.

1. Photo a Day:
I have been doing pretty good with taking out my camera and snapping some shots daily…almost. I have decided that on weekends there will be no pressure to take a photo seeing how I work…every weekend. I have decided to keep my photo-a-day pictures on a blog. This means that I will be creating another blog specifically for my photos. It is not up and running yet…working on that.

2. Improve Photography Skills
I have not started to specifically concentrate on this yet. I decided to first concentrate on building the habit of taking pictures on a regular basis.

3. 100 Mile Fitness Challenge
I am exercising but not to the standards put in place for this challenge.
I have made a decision to change this resolution/goal to… Exercise 3-4 times per week.
With this goal change, I am doing pretty good with my made-up “Deanna Circuit Training” routine. :)
I have hit my “training gym” consistently 3-4 times per week.

4. Cycling, 3-4 times/week
Have not started…it is winter! ;) Plan to start this in April.

5. 30-Day Journal Writing To…
Have not started. February here I come with some journal writing.

6. Organize My World
Slowly but surely, my world will become organized. Yes, I have started this resolution/goal. I am utilizing the book Organize Now as an outline for the order of what I will organize and when. I am currently on week 2. So far, it is fairly easy because I am a list maker…the first two weeks are more about list making and scheduling. Week 3 will be starting …today….well it should but may wait until tomorrow. Anyhow, my world will become organized…I am determined.

7. Take Ben and Randie to a concert
We have the tickets in hand just waiting for the date to come around. :)

8. Book Challenges – complete them.
I am staying on top of the read alongs that I joined. I also have read a few other books that fall in to a couple of my challenge categories.

My Resolutions:
The ones that needed reflection and planning.

9. Organize IJ’s World
10. Be Happy
(there’s more to this one than just simply “be happy”)
11. Take the girls to see a play
12. Take IJ and GD to the zoo, two times
13. Take GD to museums, three times
14. Have one-to-one time with EM, two times
15. Have one-to-one time with ED, two times
16. Have one-to-one time with EJ, two times
17. Visit Ben, four times
does dropping him off at his school count as one visit? ;)

For more information and to see how others are doing, hop on over to Should Be Reading.

A Way That A Family Can Help Haiti

Haiti has been on my mind over the last week. With such devastation that has hit people of little means…what can be done? What would be most effective? How can a child help?

My answer…

Compassion International

Sponsor a Child

As a family, we have been involved with Compassion International for the last year. We sponsor a child who resides in El Salvador. Her name is Eva and she is 1.5 years older than EM. We plan to sponsor Eva through out the years that she is eligible for the program.

Compassion International does wonderful things for children and families in need all over the world. One of the fabulous things about the organization is that they encourage communication between the Sponsor and the sponsored child. We try to write our sponsored child, Eva, once a month. She in return has written us four times during the year. Each time, she has included a drawing. We love receiving letters from Eva as we learn a bit more about her with each letter. From what we understand, sponsored children are thrilled to receive letters from their sponsors.

We have been thinking about picking up another sponsor child but have yet to make that commitment. If we were ready at this time to take on another child, we would sponsor one from Haiti once the status of the children in the program has been verified by Compassion. In the meantime, we are doing our small bit in helping those in Haiti by donating money thorough Compassion International via their Disaster Relief Fund. Since Compassion International already has an office in Haiti, they have the know how and means to utilize monies specific for the Haitian people.

The other positive factor of Compassion International is that they do release their financial information which state that at least 75% of contributed funds goes towards program activities for the children.

What can we do as a family that is a bit more concrete?
Involve the children in the donation process.

How?
As a family, decide on a way or ways to decrease our monthly food budget by going cheap on some of our meals and/or going without some extras such as chips, ice cream, etc.

Even our youngest can help with this plan of modifying our meals. As a family we will choose how many nights we will eat on the cheap…cheaper than our current eating status. As a family, we will decide which extra food items to give up for the month.

At the month’s end, we will take the money saved from our food budget and apply it towards another donation through Compassion International.

I think this a great hands on way for a child to participate and feel like they are helping those in need. The older children, if they feel the desire, are welcomed to donate some of their personal money beyond the family decreased food budget contribution.

Are you still wanting to help Haiti but are unsure what to do?

Please consider donating through Compassion International

1. Make a donation specific for Haiti through Compassion International via their Disaster Relief Fund

2. Sponsor a child from Haiti once Compassion International has verified the status of the children in the program.

Haiti Earthquake

Fool Moon Rising by Kristi and T. Lively Fluharty

Fool Moon Rising
by Kristi and T. Lively Fluharty
copyright 2009
Published by Crossway Books

Back Cover:
It’s a crime of cosmic proportions: the moon is stealing the sun’s glory! This rhyming, rollicking tale teaches children about the importance of humility and the dangers of pride.

What do you have that God hasn’t given you? And if everything you have is from God, why do you boast as though it were not a gift?
1 Corinthians 4:7, NLT

Fool Moon Rising is a wonderful book with fantastic illustrations and a creative storyline. A little boy tells God about a story he heard about the Moon, its foolishness of pride. How the moon believed that he deserved all the glory in providing great things to the world. By the end of the story he realizes his foolish mistake and recognizes that the glory should be given to the Sun.

Fool Moon Rising was a Christmas gift for IJ. I knew he would love the illustrations as he loves all things space and rocket related. What I did not know was how the story’s rhyming would be so catchy. I did not know that IJ and GD would become so enthralled.

This is GD’s favorite illustration.

This is IJ’s favorite illustration.

I am very pleased with the story as the message is fantastic and told in a fabulous way that holds IJ’s attention.

Fool Moon Rising is a delightful story.

The Eye of the World by Robert Jordan

The Eye of the World
by Robert Jordan
copyright 1990
657 pages

Book Description:
The Wheel of Time turns and Ages come and go, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth returns again. In the Third Age, an Age of Prophecy, the World and Time themselves hand in the balance. What was, what will be, and what is, may yet fall under the shadow.

First Sentence:
The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend.

The Eye of the World is a complex yet simple story that took me into a unknown fantasy world, a world that is quite unlike any other fantasy world that I have read about.

The story is simple as there is no doubt about the struggle between good and evil. There is no doubt that heavy matters do rely on the journey of three boys. There is no doubt that wicked things are happening. There is no doubt that the light is of awesome strength and can combat evil. The complexity of the story comes into play with the symbolism and the world itself. The world-building was interesting yet confusing. In the beginning, I had to assimilate myself to a world that used vastly different lingo than I had available in my mind. Thankfully, there is a glossary at the back of the book that I found to be incredibly helpful. I referred to that glossary many times throughout the read.

The story itself took a bit of time to grow on me even though there was something about it that I liked. It took time for me to feel a connection with the characters. It took me until chapter 20 to know that I really do like this story, I’m connected and I want to read on to know what will become of Rand, Perrin and Mat. I also wanted to read more of Egwene, Nynaeve and Lan.

Of those characters, I did not really like Mat much. As with Rand, well, I felt like I should have liked and connected with him. But none of that happened. I did not dislike him rather I was neutral. Moiraine, the Aes Sedai, the most powerful of the group, I did not like much. She was aloof. She did not lend herself to warmth. She was straight to the point while lacking emotion. I most definitely did not connect with her.
I connected the most with Lan, Perrin, Nynaeve and Egwene.
Egwene has spunk and determination. At first, I did not like her but as I started to see her character interact with Perrin, she grew on me.
Nynaeve was great. I really liked how she talked to Moiraine and stood her ground.
Perrin is one of my favorite characters in this story. He forged onward even when he did not feel secure in the way of things.
Lan is a secondary character yet he ranks as one of my favorites. I found his life to interesting. He displays courage, strength and integrity. I also liked how he interacted with the other characters.

While I liked the fantasy realm, the adventure and the path it took, there were many times that I got a little lost in all the detailed narration. I get why the environment and events were described as much as they were. Still, I found my mind wandering during these passages. I just could not keep full attention to all the details. This made the story a bit of a muddle for me, especially in the beginning. I think one of the reasons why I would become confused is that I tend to "surface read". That is what I call my habit of reading a story without trying to understand any hidden meanings. I do not dwell on details or things I do not understand. I figure, the story will work out those issues as I read on. Usually that is the case. If I re-read the story, that is when I dig deeper into the layers of the story. My "surface reading" worked for only about 90% of the time. I found that about 10% of the time I would need to shake my head, re-read a section to clarify a few things. Then I would move on. In other words, there is a lot going on which required a bit more concentration on my reading than I usually care for. Still, once the book picked up it's pace for me, this 10% issue was less bothersome as I was engaged in the story.

Towards the end, my attention to the plot, to the details, to the characters stayed with the story and did not wander.

The last few chapters were intense and incredibly satisfying. Much of what I was wondering about was revealed. Some of what I wished for did not happen, yet, I still was satisfied.

I can see why people love to read this story and have gone on to read the series. I also can see why people did not make it through the book. I can see why you either like the story or do not. As for me, overall, I liked the story. I did become connected with the characters and engaged in the storyline. I do want to read the second book in the series, The Great Hunt. I do want to know where the series takes the story.

The Eye Of The World is a very good and worthy read.

It’s Monday! What Are You Reading? Jan. 25th

What Are You Reading On Mondays?

is a fun weekly event hosted by J. Kaye’s Book Blog . For this meme, participants post about books completed last week, currently reading and plan to read for this coming week.

Check out J.Kaye’s Blog to see what others are reading.

I have yet to figure out how I want to archive my blog. In one way, I already do by sending it to my Google Reader feed but that is a false sense of security. I need to save it to a hard copy. An electronic hard copy would be fine but I really would like to print it out. I received a comment from msslaydbug, She mentioned blurb books. I have not thoroughly gone through the site, I will. In the meantime, I would like to search out other options. Any suggestions?

Last week was a better week for commenting. I think this will be a hit or miss thing with me depending on the week. I would love to be a bit more organized in life. I am thinking that if I were, I would waste less time which would mean more things would get done such as commenting a bit more consistently. Mostly, I would like to become more consistent in visiting other bloggers who participate in this meme. With work and other stuff, the week gets away and here I am…participating in this meme but did not hardly visit any of the other posts from you bloggers. Sorry.

Last week :

Daggerspell by Katharine Kerr
I read this book along with my blogging friends Alaine of Queen of Happy Endings and Annie of Reading, Writing & Ranting.
We are not done with our Daggerspell conversation as we each had different amounts of time to put towards reading this story. Our scheduling has worked out fine because I think it has left room for reading time flexibility. Love that. I look forward to reading what Alaine and Annie thought about the ending section of the book.

A book to add to my fantasy reading challenge list.

Currently Reading:

East of Eden by John Steinbeck
I am reading this book as part of the Classic Reads Book Club.
I have read up to chapter 11 which is where our first read along deadline takes us. I have to say, I am really liking this story, I am glad that I opened this book. I hope the rest of the book continues to keep me wanting to know more. With that said, this book is taking a bit of the back burner position in my reading this week. I have a few other books that I would like to either have read by end of the week or pretty close.

Silence by Shusaku Endo
I am reading this book for the Social Justice Challenge.
I am liking this story, so far. I will admit though, I am not certain I would have picked this book up if it were not for the fact that I decided I would read it for the challenge. I am not in the biggest mood for another Catholic story centered around priests (while the last catholic book I read was centered around nuns). Yet, I am reading it and am finding the story interesting.

Sarah’s Key by Tatiana de Rosnay
While I am first reading this book for Social Justice Challenge January read, I know that I will not finish by end of the month. I have decided to also read it for my historical fiction challenge. I am thinking that I will not review the book until mid-February.

Up Next:

Voyageurs: A Novel by Margaret Elphinstone

The Heretic’s Daughter by Kathleen Kent

What are you reading this week?

A Fantastic Show…Brandi Carlile

I just love, love Brandi Carlile. She is a fabulous singer, songwriter and entertainer. She plays her music with Tim and Phil Hanseroth who also contribute to the writing of their songs. All three are beyond fabulous.
I have written about Brandi before, if you are interested you can read the post here.

Last night, we attended Brandi Carlile’s concert which was held at the Pabst Theater in Milwaukee. First, I really do like the Pabst Theater, we have seen three concerts there this past year. Each time, the shows have been great. Second and most important, Brandi Carlile and the twins, yet again, put on a fabulous show. I love her energy. I love her voice. I love the music. I love that they have a cellist in their shows. I love that they mix their show up with acoustic numbers and jam full out with their guitars, drums, cello and piano. I also love that they performed a few cover songs.

My friends, Jody and Brett, were not familiar with Brandi Carlile yet they loved the show. They thought is was great.

The show was energetic and fun.
We had a great time!
If you ever have the chance to see Brandi Carlile, do so.
I do not think you will be disappointed.

The following YouTube videos are some of the songs that were song at the show although taped at different venues.

One of my favorite cover songs that Brandi performed…Mad World

The Bastard by John Jakes

The Bastard
by John Jakes
Copyright 1974
Pages: 528
Book Source: own purchase

Back Cover:
The illegitimate son of the Duke of Kentland, Phillipe Charboneau has been denied his birthright by his father's family. So he flees to London, where he learns the printing trade . . . but his journey truly commences when he falls under the influence of Benjamin Franklin and travels to America…

First Sentence:
The woman’s faced burned, glowed as though illuminated by a shaft of light falling from a high cathedral window.

I first read The Bastard when I was around 16 years old. I remember that I loved John Jakes’ writing. I remember that I devoured all books by John Jakes. Several months ago, I was going through a box of stuff that I have not looked at in years, many years. I discovered the John Jakes books that I bought. To my dismay, I also discovered that those books were ruined – musty and mildew. Ugh. This discovery, however, sparked my renewed interest in the books. I became curious, “Would I still love these books as I did in my teenage years and early twenties?” “How would I feel about these books with a parent’s discernment, in regards to my 14 year old daughter?” “How will I feel about the quality of the writing?” “How will I feel about the characters?” “How will I feel about the time and place for where the story is based?”
I re-read The Bastard in November, 2009.

The Bastard is steeped in historical fact as it weaves an epic story centered on Philip Kent. We first encounter Philip as the age of 17 during the year 1770 while living in France. We witness him travel first to England and then finally to America.
This is not only a story of The Bastard boy who struggles to discover who he truly is and what he stands for. It is also the story of The Bastard country of America and its struggles to come into its own independence.

This incredible story is told through Philip’s point-of-view. While Philip’s story unfolds we read about the history of his times. We meet historical people such as Benjamin Franklin, Will Molineaux, and Samuel Adams to name a few. Meeting these individuals helped me, as the reader, to gain an understanding of the political turmoil. To better understand the brewing uprise of the American colonists. The Bastard was wonderfully written. It engaged me in the life of Philip. It engaged me in the struggles of the American colonists. The Bastard is a fabulous historical fiction read.

“Would I still love these books as I did in my teenage years and early twenties?”
Based on this first book, the answer would be…yes! It shall be interesting to see if I continue to like this series as I read on with the next book and so forth.

“How would I feel about these books with a parent’s discernment, in regards to my 14 year old daughter?”
First off, I cannot believe that I read this book while a teenager. This book is a great story but fairly deep as it is rich in historical fact, events and setting. Goes to show me, I really did love history while in school. I still do love reading and learning about history. As a parent, I would be just fine with my 14 year old reading this book. There are relationships but the story is not really focused on a love relationship. The story is focused on Philip and the times. Yes, there is sex in the book but it is not that descriptive and again, it is not central to the story. Now, will my 14 year old daughter read this book? I would be shocked and greatly pleased if she did read The Bastard. However, she probably will not read this story. This is not her type of read.

“How will I feel about the quality of the writing?”
I really enjoyed John Jakes’ writing. Who am I to judge the quality except to say…his words spoke to me and I was engaged in the events, in the story.

“How will I feel about the characters?”
Ahhh…the characters. I did not necessarily like each character but I truly appreciated each one as they all added dimensions to the story.

Philip…I truly enjoyed reading about Philip’s life. We see him grow from an innocent, naive boy to a man who realizes that he must make choices, take a stand. He is a character who is to be admired for all that he endures yet makes pretty good decisions. He is a survivor. I look forward to reading more about Philip’s life and those who are in his life.

The Sholto family…I was very intrigued by this family. They are a wonderful, kind, caring, compassionate family. They take Philip under their wing and help him in tremendous ways.

Will Molineaux…he was the most intriguing historical figure. Why? I did not fully realize his role in history until re-reading The Bastard. He truly was a patriot. You can read about Will Molineaux, who he was and the role he played in the rebellion against the British, at Boston 1775 - William Molineaux ,Forgotten Revolutionary.

“How will I feel about the time and place for where the story is based?”
This answer is very easy. I love history that is set in the 1700’s. More specific, I love history set in America during the 1700’s.

I have said this before, I will say it again… good historical fiction writers amaze and awe me. John Jakes is no different.

The Bastard is an amazing story.

An Incredible Moment in the Life of IJ

To learn more about IJ, you may read... part one, part two-a, part two-b,part two-c, part two-d, part three

If you are not aware, IJ is developmentally delayed so this moment in his life is huge. It was simply fantastic for me to witness this incredible step in his development growth.

Last Sunday evening, EM was messing around on our Magna Doodle. IJ showed interest in what she was doing. In a very sweet and so infrequent moment, EM spent some time showing and encouraging IJ to write the letters of his name.

The incredible moment was seeing IJ actually write the letters of his name, free hand…no dots to follow….no hand-over-hand….simply on his own.

Now, his letters are not formed very well. Actually, I am thinking that you will not be able to pick out all the letters in the photo below. That is okay because what was incredible is that he knew the order of the letters. He said their names (even if the name was actually describing how to form the letter…it still was his name for the letter). He said the letter names in the order they should go while he attempted the writing. Very Cool. Yes, he writes rather large so the letters are not written in order as he ran out of room after the first three letters. Still…very cool…very huge…very fantastic. I am beyond thrilled.

An incredible moment in the life of IJ.

Above is him writing the first letter of his name.

All the letters of his name are written on the magna doodle.
I will say, I took these pictures last night. While IJ still wrote out his name in the same manner as Sunday night, his control was not as good. I am thinking he was not as into this activity as the night prior. Soooo…his letters were a bit bigger. Also, Sunday night, he formed the letter “S” far better. Still…very cool.

Let’s Talk: Special Needs, part three - Apraxia, Resources

Note: Let's Talk: Special Needs will be posted in parts. If you have not done so already, you may like to read the previous part... part one, part two-a, part two-b, part two-c, part two-d

While watching Mr. Holland’s Opus, I was struck by two very important moments in the movie. The movie is about Mr. Holland as he teaches music over a span of 30 years. How he discovers a passion for teaching for which he could touch the lives of many children. This movie also deals with issues of the deaf.

I find it interesting, that while viewing a movie, I can take something away from the movie that is vastly different than an other will take. Something will strike me that did not really strike someone else. What struck me during Mr. Holland's Opus was not Mr. Holland it was his wife, Iris. She pulled at my heart strings during the scene when she first realizes that her son, her firstborn is deaf. The other significant moment for which she pulled at my heart stings to an even greater depth was during the scene when she was pouring out to her husband that she needs to be able to communicate with her son. I think, during this scene, their deaf son is about the age 3 or 4. He has tantrums because he is not being understood. Iris is at her wit’s end because she cannot understand her son nor effectively tell him how she loves him. Her husband, Mr. Holland, is more concerned with the amount of money it will take to put their son in a special school for the deaf. Iris then has a stomping tantrum herself, she is pouring out her emotions, her desperation, her needs, her angst, her desires. This scene is an incredible scene. My heart went out to Iris. My eyes became teary. I then thought, my god Iris…you are so right! Mr. Holland, you are an a@@. Iris prevails, their son attends the deaf school. Jump forward several years, Iris is able to communicate with her son and the boy is doing well for himself. Mr. Holland? He obviously did not put the effort into learning sign language because he can hardly communicate with his son. He does not have an appreciation for his son. What a shame.

Those two scenes struck me. I thought of my boy. I realized that many times, our frustrations and his frustrations are born out of his limited verbal skills. The frustrations in our home is escalating not necessarily because IJ is a horror…NO….it is because he cannot communicate effectively. We cannot communicate effectively with him. We cannot understand him fully. He cannot speak fully. This realization really is not new for me. I have known this for years.

The scenes from Mr. Holland’s Opus reopened my eyes and helped to slightly settle a gnawing and growing anxiety over IJ and his issues. IJ is speech delayed. True or not true? I say, not true while officially…it is true. Delay…no. Disorder…yes. He has what resembles Apraxia. I say resembles because it is not an official diagnosis but the terminology is certainly being used. Speech is difficult for IJ. Hope is on the horizon for our communication because a communication assistive device has arrived at school, last week. The hope is that this device will give IJ a fuller means of communicating while he learns to verbally speak. If this truly will work, ahhh…the joy. I then can hopefully start identifying with Iris at the point in the movie where she is communicating with her son through the use of sign language.

Mr. Holland’s Opus also had me start to think a bit more about Apraxia….again. Apraxia is difficult. It is hard for all those involved….the child, the family, those who come into contact with the child.

What is Apraxia?

taken from National Institute of Deafness and other Communication Disorders

is a speech disorder in which a person has trouble saying what he or she wants to say correctly and consistently. It is not due to weakness or paralysis of the speech muscles (the muscles of the face, tongue, and lips). The severity of apraxia of speech can range from mild to severe.

taken from Apraxia-Kids

Childhood Apraxia of Speech is a motor speech disorder. For reasons not yet fully understood, children with apraxia of speech have great difficulty planning and producing the precise, highly refined and specific series of movements of the tongue, lips, jaw and palate that are necessary for intelligible speech.

Not only is a child’s speech effected, other areas in life can be effected such as; poor vocabulary, incorrect grammar, and difficulty in clearly organizing spoken information; problems with reading, writing, spelling, or math; coordination or "motor-skill" problems; and chewing and swallowing difficulties. taken from National Institute of Deafness and other Communication Disorders

IJ clearly has problems with all verbal skills, pre-reading skills, pre-writing skills, math and coordination. IJ clearly has other issues beyond Apraxia but I firmly believe that if we can increase his ability to communicate that many of his other issues will decrease.

Yes, I identified with Iris from Mr. Holland’s Opus. I, however, am very glad that we live in the 2000’s vs the 60’s as there are more resources available to IJ. There is more school support. There are more therapists. There is more help. Still….we have a long way to go.

The following resources have been very helpful to me in regards to IJ’s speech issues but also with navigating special needs in general and school. I hope to review a few of these resources further. In the meantime, here is the list.

Apraxia-Kids
This site has a ton of helpful information.

The Child with Special Needs by Stanley Greenspan
This book was central to my change in how I approached IJ. This book reminded me about development milestones of children. It pointed out, in essence…reminded me, that IJ was at a different development level than his chronological age. So…why was I trying to approach him at his chronological age but not his development age? Wow…that was a changing moment for me. Once I started to approach and expect things from IJ based on his development age, things started to go a bit smoother. I started to understand him better. The approach this book subscribes to is Floor Time. While I think Floor Time has many positive aspects, I am not certain that it is the only way to go with IJ’s treatment. Still, this book was well worth the read. I do recommend that all parents with development delayed children give this book a read even though it is written with autistic children in mind.

From Emotions to Advocacy from Wrightslaw
This book is empowering. It gave me insight. It gave me knowledge. It gave me confidence. All three…insight, knowledge and confidence…proved to be incredibly important when approaching IEP meetings, teacher conferences, any sort of school communication.
I have a long way to go before I clearly understand special needs and school. I have a long way to go before I slightly understand the laws and rights of children with special needs. Still, this book helped put me on the right path in learning and navigating this world of special needs education.

The Wrightslaw Way Blog
This blog has been very helpful and insightful as it provides a wealth of information.

5 Minutes for Special Needs Blog
This blog is fantastic! It reminds me that we are not alone. It reminds me to be thankfully for what we do have, for where we are. It reminds me to laugh. It reminds me that life is okay.

I would like to point out one post in particular.
Autistic behavior and nervous laughter
Why do I want you to read this one? It is not because of the actual content of the post…nervous laughter when faced with someone that has a disability. It is because of the reminder…we do not always know the true emotion of a person when we are seeing snapshot. They truly may not be insensitive. There may be a reason why the person is laughing. More central to myself, this post reminded me that people who cross my path may misunderstand a nervous habit of mine. They may think I am not appropriate.
If you know me in real life, if you work with my child…please keep a few thoughts in mind.
If I laugh or smile uncontrollably when IJ is misbehaving, please remember this, truly I am not laughing because I think his behavior is funny. I am laughing or smiling uncontrollably because I am nervous, I do not know what to do, I do not know what you are thinking…I am nervous. Please keep that in mind. Thanks.

Apraxia Speaks
This is new information for me. I am reading through the information and trying to discern the validity. I have been thinking about IJ’s diet already and wondering if this is an area we should concentrate on to a greater degree. Also, I have noticed IJ’s affinity for music. When music is being played he “sings”. He follows the tune with his approximated words and many times I can hear an actual word come out of his mouth. Yes, I have already been thinking about music therapy before coming across this site. I still wonder what the validity of these treatments truly are.