Thursday, February 25, 2010

Sometimes….I feel guilty


Life of Mom: make breakfast, lunch, dinner, do laundry, housework, etc….Not for me! I do not always happily do these areas of motherhood. Actually, many times I loathe the idea that I have to do these things, most especially, since I do have children who are capable. So, I have them help. Their actual help is not always given willingly, but I hold my ground, they help.

Sometimes….sometimes, I feel guilty. I feel guilty that I am not a cheerful, and shiny morning mom. I am a mom who rolls out of bed because I have to get the bare basics done before the children head off to school. Shiny, I am not. Cheerful, not quite.

The bare basics? That would be IJ. Out of the four who leave the home by 0730, IJ is the one who is dependant upon me to get him up, dress him, feed him, pack his lunch, get his coat on, and out the door on time. He, thankfully, complies. Still though, he needs the assist. The girls, well, they are where I feel a bit of guilt. They wake up (to their own alarm clocks), make their breakfast (if they eat, which they are doing lately, thankfully), make their lunch and get out the door on time without any reminders from me. They truly are independent in this area of life. That is great, but sometimes I feel guilty that I do not help them, at all. Well, sometimes in a blue moon, I do help. Still though, a mom should make their kids breakfast with a smiling face. Right? A mom should pack the lunches with a smiling face. Right? A mom should send the children off to school with a kiss, hug, and smiling face. Right? The last statement has made me laugh. The 14 year old and 12 year old are not into the hugs and kisses, they cringe each time I make them participate in this activity, but a smiling face would be good, and accepted by them.

No worries though, my guilt ridden moments only last for a few seconds. I suppose, ultimately, I do not feel that guilty otherwise I would change. Also, my children are independent, is that not one of our goals as a Mom – to raise our children to be independent and reliable people? That is one of my goals.

No worries, when I do start to feel a tad guilty, my compadre co-worker will blatantly remind me that this a good thing; the children do not need my assistance in the morning. That is our goal: to raise our children to be independent and reliable people.

Yes, you do see seven children, one is Benjamin’s girlfriend, Randie.
Left to Right: IJ, Randie-Lynn, Benjamin, ED, GD, EM, EJ

Where did this post come from? This morning, my sometimes guilt ridden moment arrived, ever so briefly, with my 10 year old daughter as she gave me a hug, and kiss goodbye. The guilt ridden moment passed as quickly as it came during our morning goodbye phrase that we say to each other; “Peace and joy to you this day.”

If you are a parent, do you ever have moments of parenting guilt even when you know that all is good?


  1. Oh yes, I was nodding my head in agreement as I read your post. My youngest is in high school and I still drag myself out of bed to see him off.

  2. You have a beautiful family!!

    I've got a teenager, a grade-schooler, and a 3yo - mornings are crazytime! I feel guilty they get cereal instead of a homemade breakfast. I know in the grand scheme of things that's not a big deal, but sometimes I do feel guilty.

  3. Hi Deanna, yes, yes and yes! Lots of guilt moments every week and like you I'm not a morning person. My sons get themselves ready and make their own breakfast. I make lunch for the 11 year old and the 14 year old refuses to take lunch, but does eat a really good breakfast.

    I think guilt is born the moment the children are.

    PS the kids are gorgeous!



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